Exercise is great for your heart, but a regular fitness routine can wreak havoc on a relationship, especially if your significant other’s idea of movement is reaching for the remote control.

We’ve all heard about “golf widows” bemoaning the hours their partners spend in pursuit of the little white ball. And for every person who is thrilled when his or her spouse goes from fat to fit, there’s another who resents the fact that Chunky Monkey has been banned from the freezer.

But triathlon, with its extreme time demands and its power to transform athletes both physically and emotionally, may be one of the toughest challenges any pair of valentines can face. Triathlon has been called the “divorce sport” because the commitment it takes to complete one of these run-bike-swim events can leave the noncompetitive partner feeling neglected, and perhaps even abandoned.

Tough love is needed at all times. Try and make them part of your routine and journey. If they are a fatty, it is time to get in shape. Have them join.